LET THEM GO

If people can choose to walk away from you, let them walk. Don’t feel sorry that they decided.. Respect that. If they can choose to walk away.. Kiss them goodbye. Period. You got to understand that folks have an expiry date. Any mortal being expires, it’s for you to savvy when it’s their expiry season. Not everyone is gonna stick with you till the end. Not everyone is meant to stay. You need to espouse their obstinate choice.

This might sound a bit crazy but if a person wakes up and turn their backs on you, smile and wave them bye.IMG_20180126_155444_401 You need to work assiduously to gather the courage to let them go. I believe if someone realises the role you play in their lives they wouldn’t sunder the attachment. If they care, if they see the end from your perspective they wouldn’t have opted to relinquish in the first place.

We live in a world where we care about what others will say if they find out. We live in times of trepidation. You got to be strong and true to yourself. You need to realize your worth. Why waste time begging a friend, inamorato or inamorata to stay? If they needed you they would have chosen to stay anyway. Understand the rule of cessation. When someone leaves it’s because of one reason, they are still searching for greener pastures. Wish them luck.

Don’t stress regretting for trusting them, don’t worry when things crack in your hands , that’s how light gets in. Heartbroken? Believe me there’s is nothing like a heart break, I came to realize it’s all in the mind. It’s an illusion tragedy we claim to ourselves. There’s nothing like someone leaving a hole in your heart,haha,I mean stop lying to yourself. Stop falsifying things. Heart break is a phantom. Nobody breaks your heart.

We feel pain when we lose our loved ones, that’s natural. However, it’s unnatural not to move on after the loss. It’s childish to cry over the dead over and over. It’s glaikit, wacky and worst of all nonsense. Don’t cry for the dead forever , burry them. Let them go. Let them be.

You deserve someone who will forever be afraid of losing you. Anyone who’s not afraid of letting you go doesn’t know your worth. Don’t welcome them back, the same way we don’t hug ghosts. Their role in our lives is over when they vacate. Hang up when they call trying to find out if you have moved on.

Be merry. Your destiny is not attached to those who choose to hurt you. It’s not your fault they dashed out of your cycle. The world is full of amazing people. You are your own happiness. You realize you agonize your life by not accepting simple life games. Accept no as an answer. Embrace it’s over as the beginning of being verisimilitude and nicer to yourself. Allowing people who left to come back to your life gives them a reason to disrespect you. They tend to think you will never move on.

Let them know you have had enough, stop the hustle, stop begging. Bending low twice or more is a sign of desperation. If they choose to walk away, let them walk.

MOTHER’S LOVE

It’s wee hours of the night and I cannot help but sip my hot coffee as I have a dalliance with some silent thoughts rummaging through my mind. The idea of giving up all my potency, visions, dreams and achievement in the name of some “stupid” nuptial gives me a frantic shiver. I mean I dedicated all my synergy to be where I always wanted to be and now him, he comes and dashes all this in an obverse corner directed by his own alidade.

Am not trying to vilify him, nor am I suggesting that I cannot be submissive as vows conjure me to. However, giving up all that I got without seeking succour from anybody is what makes me awake till now. I thought I would still be independent and run my errands as normal. Aaaarrgh…. I was wrong. So each day, he complains about my business meetings, business phone calls, he controls who sends me business invites and all this stuff jangles  my mind.

*flashback*

…So it happened I went to study among the Zulu in my higher education. Being a precocious damsel with such rosy cheeks, pink lips and blue bubble eyes, leave alone the body figure and an adorable sweet laughter, all eyes were on me. You know what I mean. I became the talk of the campus, which I got used to anyway. It became clear that I was the luminary, dignitary and penjandrum of the time. I won myself quite a number of handsome men toppling on my way but only one Xhosa potentate guy caught my eye. I gave in. He was too good to deny(blushing).

Plans went, up and down and three years after graduation lobola was taken to my folks and down the aisle we walked. We had another exquisite traditional wedding that happened on a full moon, by the shore in accordance with the Umkhosa liturgy. I must avow I had the wedding of my dreams. We flew to the island for our two weeks honey moon. It was evident we were indeed love birds coalesced into one nest for the rest of our existence. It was cool, we were happy and that what mattered.

Hail broke loose three months after we came back to Johannesburg to start the matrimony life. He became restless, timorous and more than often I would catch him red handed going through my phone and diary. At first he made it seem romantic and did sugar coat me to view myself so special and protected. Days passed, weeks, months and I outgrew his over protective behavior.

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So yesterday he told me to hand over my position as the managing overseer in the company and am like, “I can’t take this anymore.” Really? Should I sit down and watch my career nose dive? Should I tell him I cannot be just a house wife? Should I tell him I want a divorce? Or maybe should I just breach and walk away? Just walk away and go far far away from all this mess, limitation, following around, and this entire dungeon. This jealous Xhosa man. He probably thinks everyone sees all that he sees in me. I understand but does it have to go to this extreme? Think. Think. Think.IMG_20171214_033609_973

I come to think of it, something tells me not to discord. Something in my womb tells me, “Mama talk it over with him, unless you want me to be considered a bastard”. Nobody wants to live fatherless. Nobody wants to miss out that bass man around. Every child deserve a complete family. Ooh my…Did I just hear her speak? I take my last sip and there…. There… I look at my stomach, listen to the kicks and I abnegate, I take back my thoughts. Just because of you, angel. Because of you little blessing, I will stay. I will talk to him. I will try my best. I will make it concrete. Angel, you are the reason. Just for you, we shall erase the past and clear our differences.

I love you my baby .

WAS JUST A PILLOW HERO

Who be my life hero?

I walk in the hospital and the doctor gwaks  at me.

He closely looks at my agonized face and whispers, “don’t worry it’s gonna be fine.”

I look down, tears rolling down my face and I can’t utter a word.

I sqirm as the doctor gives me the pregnancy test results.

To my expectation, it tests positive. Wasn’t surprised, that I will confess.

The problem comes when I can’t recall, who the possible father could be.

Who be my hero?IMG_20171123_011615_706

I start rummaging through my head, the list seem endless.

I panic.

Could it be Peter? No, I think it’s Melvin,Robert,Jaymo or Fabian. As I continue doing the calculations, the doctor looks at me and says, “not only are you pregnant but also HIV positive.”

To my disbelief, I bust into tears. Then I go through my phone and I see a text that answers all my questions.

“Babe, I can’t get over you, the night was damn good.”

I ask the doctor how old the foetus is, and he says three weeks. I try wonder could Dave who was my pillow hero be the pregnancy and HIV hero??

I walk out of the hospital both numb and cold. I call Dave and explain the situation, he answers, ” I didn’t ask for it, it’s your fault, after all you didn’t protect yourself.”

Gosh, I don’t believe my ears and I call again to confirm and he’s now unreachable!

Few minutes later, a text message, “life is too short to assume we will always be together, am sorry, all I wanted was a night, few minutes and slight hotty breaths of your skin, the rest is crap. You signed up for it, deal with it. Am out.”

I feel the itch in my heart. The sky, the trees and hills seem to come down. The entire world seems violent, the only thing that comes in my mind is, I wish I knew.

As if that is not enough, I try figure out how am gonna raise the toddler. It’s just a world which seems to let my heart yonder, I shed a tear….my pillow hero refuses to be my life hero, now how am I gonna tell my baby your father was a true hero?

How?

 

 

 

 

FUTURE HUSBAND

Conversation surrounding me is about love, money and fame. This has brought a lot of controversy. We live in a world where everybody believes life cannot be complete without money.

I don’t altercate the norm mindset people have these days but come to think of it. Can money buy love? Yes, money can buy fame not love. This is where the world confounds us. Having introspected much about love, fame and money, to you future husband I write….

Work hard, toil and trouble for your future. Have something to call yours. Work like a Trojan, travail and moil. Get the money and fame but don’t use it to get my love.

Let’s get back to the antediluvian days. The ages of our forefathers, the primeval, the obsolete times, the days which seem outworn. Where love was genuine. Where money was secondary, and all that mattered was true love and happiness.

Dear future husband am a lassie living in this controversial century yet I got a missive from the ancient. My mama taught me to be independent, industrious but submissive.

I am engrossed to get the money you too is busy searching for(haha we are not in competition though). I would not mind if I be your boss lady(wink). I wouldn’t mind if you do the dishes and babysit our picknies, sounds odd right?

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I’m not saying I will be the kind of a wife taking charge of everything, but hey it’s life, roles might change. Nevertheless, this is where am alluding to, I don’t want you to spoil me with money, which today it’s here tomorrow it’s all gone. Instead spoil me with love, respect and trust.

Happiness is not cohere into a sequence of materialistic things. What benefit will it be for, when all you care is money, you hear a bank has been robbed and you go doolally!

Think about it. Try get the gist of my talk. I shorten my writing for you to remember. Future husband.

DON’T GIVE UP NOW

You have come a long way, don’t give up now.Annette Wasike 20171028_181813 Winston Churchill once said, “Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” Most of us concede to the quote but do we heed to it? We are lured into the thinking that we are not the best. We are not adept enough, we underrate our capability each day missing out on opportunities. Do it if it fails, so what?! Try a little bit longer, remember you do what you can for as long as you can. And when you finally can’t, you do the next best thing. You back up but you don’t give up! What if your mother gave up on pushing a little harder?

You cannot afford to capitulate now after being a victor from ancient. You were born a winner, a conqueror and you were given mandate. Don’t quit now.  Look at the bigger picture. There is someone who looks up to you, somebody needs your hand, don’t look down. It’s not time to succumb nor is it time to vacillate your ability. Don’t put off your candle, the world needs it.

Not everyone will back you up, at times you will find you are all alone, close friends jilting and nobody ready to listen to your brilliant ideas. More than often, you will have no company. Nobody to turn to, life will strike you hard. Some will suggest you let go. Fallacy will have it that you not good enough to go for it. People are good at discouraging, they don’t speak until they see you want to escalate higher than them. That’s when they will do all it takes to bring you down. The rate at which they will abase you will be so fast and you will soon find yourself down again. That’s life.

However, I hope this article will speak to you. Arise from the ground, efface the dust on your clothes, put your shoes on and lace them up, then take a step of victory. Give yourself hope when there’s nobody to. Rejuvenate yourself. Tell yourself you can, because you can. The best achievement in life is to realize your potential in the midst of people who don’t. Be your best fan.

Just keep walking, keep trying, one step at a time there you reach your holy grail. Don’t give up now, at least if not for me, for yourself. Don’t tire from attempting, try and try some more, the extra trial makes the difference.

Where you are coming from is dark, you are the candle, illuminate  where you are heading to. Don’t stop shinning you are our hope. The world needs you, because you are a CHAMPION.

STRONG AGAIN

No matter how strong you are, there’s always somebody who can make you weak. I don’t know if it’s just a phantom kind of a saying, but I gave it a deeper thought, hmm… I won’t say more.

I don’t know why am writing this but hey I must say I was once a strong if not stronger lass. I believed in myself so much and all I could see was being a victor, an empire on my own. I really can’t give a concrete mitigation for my sudden melting. Like ice I melted and I dropped in the ocean. As a drop in vast waters I can’t be identified, or who can segregate and discern a drop in an ocean? Think about it.

The beginning of weakening is delusion, most of us don’t know that. When one lives in a false imagination, hangs out with fake amigos and invest much of their synergy in frivolous targets, that’s when strength elapses.

We become victims day by day because of trusting too much on the trival. We want to fit in a club, a class and a clique.

We forget we are made of diamond, we try breaking our atomic structures, hehe.. Just to be molecules. We remove our jewellery to make it easy for them to carry us. What a shame! We go to the extent of bending so low, wanting to please the coterie, always available and sacrificing the best you can give to yourself instead . That’s the debut of becoming fragile.

Becoming weak is really devastating, it puts one in a cocoon, blinds and finally engulf them. They end up vulnerable, low esteemed and become haters of themselves. The cost of being flimsy is really huge, you can’t afford to be a victim.

However, you can be strong again. The same way an egg gain robustness once boiled, we are not an exception. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? You can be strong again, I can be strong again. Stand up!

Arise for behold the cocoon has cracked! It’s time to wipe your damn tears, move, move, move and live! There’s hope, the villain will not ambush you anymore. You can be strong again! All you have to do is believe in yourself, believe you can make it, get out of the vapid crowd and start working on making your world better. I wish you all the best in the new you, you are strong I know it. Yes you!

LET ME DROWN

My legs be drowning but I try not to show and I keep drawing.

Really confusing right?

I mean how can she be drawing yet she’s drowning?

I am drawing my map of grief.

They say am trying playing it cool but rather just playing my cards at the pool, where I forget and flip, oops I find myself drowning.

At a distance, they watch as I succumb.

They were not there when I was struggling to succeed in

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fact they were against my success(which I got used to anyway)

Poor thing, I fought the strength of the still waters, tried getting myself out in vain.

I looked down and I knew I was helpless.

The waters made me desperate,my body and soul had to separate.

So sad I know, I knew nobody would save me. Just let me drown maybe the fish will save me.